Culture of caring at home grows boys into non-violent men

By CASEY NEILL

“NO CHILD dreams of being violent. We can stop violence before it starts.”
Casey Interfaith Network president and White Ribbon Ambassador Jim Reiher was the guest speaker at a White Ribbon Day breakfast at Dandenong West Primary School last Tuesday, 25 November.
He told the 30-plus people gathered that children witnessed 65 per cent of the family violence committed in Victoria.
“What are we teaching our little boys?” he said.
“Family violence is preventable. Not everybody is violent.
“We need to raise our boys to be non-violent males.
“It’s not fair to say women drive men to violence, like they have no control over their actions.”
Mr Reiher said 95 per cent all violence in the home was committed by men against women.
“I don’t want to focus on the minority,” he said.
“I want to focus on the overwhelming majority.”
He said people often blamed alcohol, mental illness and violent upbringings for family violence
“There are bigger issues,” he said.
Mr Reiher said family violence stemmed from gender stereotypes, power imbalances between men and women, and a culture of men resolving conflict with violence.
“We need to break this belief that violence is a solution,” he said.
“And don’t put little boys down for showing caring, sensitive emotions.”
He showed a White Ribbon campaign video featuring children sharing what they wanted to be when they grew up.
A little girl saying “I’m going to end up in hospital because my husband beats me” stunned the audience.
Mr Reiher urged teachers to lead by example – especially male teachers in how they relate to women – refuse to reinforce rigid stereotypes and teach non-violent alternatives to problem solving.
He said he’d seen widespread improvements in littering, road safety and smoking during his lifetime.
“We change attitudes of whole communities,” he said.